am i the only one who rehearses things i might say in advance? and I don’t mean like my theoretical oscars acceptance speech i mean like what i’ll say to the pizza guy when I answer the door in my pjs
what if guys came coffee… i’ll have one ejaculatte please
I just spit out my coffee
You’re supposed to swallow it
My pride is stronger than my feelings. don’t try to play me.
I could think of you 24/7 and you still wouldn’t hear from me.
Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape.
Having to explain a joke is like going to prom with your sister
you know those people that can literally carry on a conversation with anyone are amazing like wow how do you do that